Mar 12, 2015
@miss_tashina tagged me to participate in our friends @tamarlevine and @nicalvarez project @wearealluncool a week ago. A project about breaking down the wall of only putting out your coolest self on the interwebs to see. I was instantly on board, but when tagged I went into negative self talk that I shouldn’t participate because I’ve never even been a cool kid, feels like I’ve always been the ‘uncool’ kid amongst the cool kids. But I guess that’s the whole point - that #wearealluncool and have baggage, quirks, and given burdens. While I already know how uncool I am maybe I have to remember that it’s pretty cool to be just the way I am. We are all cool, and uncool, and that’s the whole point of being human. SO.
1. I am an actor, and haven’t been acting. Acting since preschool and pursuing it professionally since high school. But the past 4 years I’ve been standing on the bottom of the pool while I was claiming to be treading water. Got jaded after moving down and didn’t know what to do. The biggest gift I’ve given myself recently is deciding to start where I am. Somebody who wasn’t ready to commit before. Somebody with years of training and old experience but is 97% out of shape and in need of getting back to class. I cant call what I’ve been doing these past few years as a 'Hollywood hustle’. In owning that, I’m changing that.
2. I avoided taking this photo this week also because I desperately wanted to shoot it with my hair straightened. I’ve been unhappy lately - I’m thriving, work is amazing, finally hustling - loving the results - but I am still unhappy. I’ve been trying to bring change into my life because I’ve been doing and wanting the same things since high school. I am desperate to breathe new air into my old world. Painting my nails, getting glasses, straight hair, rearranging my room. Posting straight hair felt crucial. Its not. I’m doing literally everything I know to make myself happy - and sometimes is ok to just let the unhappiness be there knowing that its just a growing pain. It’ll pass.
3. I wear socks and slip on shoes. Socks feel like hugs and slipons are too easy. So in a day with no thought, you can find me in socks and mocs.